Instagram & eTV’s Checkpoint Created the Present-Day Jezebel

On slayqueens, Insta baddies and misogynoir

It is common cause in modern popular discourse in South Africa that ‘slayqueens’ are the modern-day Jezebel — loose pretty girls with empty brains who sleep with men for money. The convergence of the popularity of the image of Instagram influencers and eTV’s Checkpoint episode on Blessers and Blessees is how we find ourselves here.

By the mid-2010s, Instagram saw a significant boom in it’s user base largely because of the takeover of celebrity culture. Global celebrities like the Kardashian-Jenner family (which already had massive popularity from their reality show) were regular users of the platform. It is largely due to their popularity and that of other celebrities who were active on the platform that led to the growth spurt of the period.

The now massive popularity of the former photo editing app gave rise to the “influencer” — a social media personality who had a large following (‘large’ has always been relative) who is able to influence the purchasing decisions of their followers. The picture of the Instagram influencer (what she looks like) or the ‘Instagram Baddie’ and they were colloquially known was largely dictated by the dominant beauty standard on the app.

The popularity of the Kardashian-Jenner family, both on and off the Instagram app, along with the popularization of the ‘slim-thick’ body type in music videos and popular culture constructed this body type as the dominant beauty standard on Instagram. At this point, all major Instagram influencers/baddies had the exact same body; conventionally attractive, white/lightskin, small waist, big bust and thick bottom body. In 2015–2016 anyone who ticked many of these boxes was considered an Instagram Baddie. The Instagram Baddie couldn’t be just pretty, she also had to live a certain lifestyle.

Because the dominant beauty standard was driven by wealthy/rich women who were able to afford luxury cars, designer bags, a globe-trotter lifestyle, and the finer things in life — luxury or the appearance of luxury became an intricate part of the look and aesthetic of the Instagram Baddie. The physical appearance and the opulent lifestyle constructed the complete image of the dominant beauty standard on Instagram in the 2015–2016 period.

Within queer communities, particularly the ballroom subculture, ‘slay’ is a word used to exclaim that someone is doing something exceptional, interesting, ground-breaking, or excellent. With ‘king’ and ‘queen’ regularly used (mainly by black people) as terms of endearment it was only a matter of time until the phrase “slay queen!” started appearing in the comments section of pictures on Instagram. The phrase, usually seen under the pictures of these Instagram Baddies, was used to denote that the woman (queen) is wearing a great outfit or is striking a pose (slay!).

This is how we arrive at a phrase, “slay queen” turned into an adjective “slayqueen” and associated with women who are also deemed to be Instagram Baddies, who have a certain body type and have the appearance of living an opulent lifestyle (which is relative to everyone). This is where things take a turn for the worst.

Khanyi Mbau — the Queen of Bling — is regarded by many as the original ‘sugar baby’. In her early 20s, Mbau was married to Mandla Mthembu who was in his 40s at the time and was considered ‘rich’. The couple drove matching Lamborghinis and Mbau exuded the now popular ‘rich housewife aesthetic’. When the eTV investigative reporting show, Checkpoint, ran a story on young, conventionally attractive, women who were engaged in sexual transactional relationships with older, rich, married men. South Africa received new language for sugar daddies and sugar babies. This was the birth of the blesser and blessee.

The blesser is typically an older, rich, married man who financially funds the lifestyle of a younger, conventionally attractive woman in exchange for a casual, on-going sex. The language of blesser-blessee was new but the phenomenon was not.

When we were introduced to the blesser and blessee, the dominant beauty standard had been firmly entrenched as the Instagram Baddie. It so happened that when Checkpoint ran the Blesser-Blessee episode, the women who were portrayed as the blessee perfectly fit the image of the Instagram Baddie.

This created a merging of images. Because the blessees looked like the Instagram Baddies (who were now called slayqueens), there grew an assumption that the Instagram Baddies all had their opulent lifestyles funded by older, rich, married men whom they were sleeping with in exchange for Gucci bags and trips to Bali. It is very interesting that we chose to believe that women who were deemed slayqueens were all engaged in transactional sexual relationships when we knew absolutely nothing about these women.

One such woman who fell victim to the blessee accusations is South Africa’s biggest and most popular influencer — Mihlali Ndamase. Keeping to the dominant beauty standard, Ndamase ticks the boxes of what the typical Instagram Baddie looks like; conventionally attractive, light skin, thin waist, thick bottom body and lives what appears to be an opulent lifestyle. It is obvious then that she was accused of exchanging sex to get the things she has. This assumption, unfortunately, holds no water.

In many an interview, Ndamase has mentioned that her grandmother (whom she lived with) had invested money she received after the passing of her grandfather. She mentioned that her grandmother is well-off and has been able to take care of their whole family. Instagram snaps of the home Ndamase’s grandmother lives in shows that she is indeed a woman of means. Ndamase studied at LISOF and Vega both of which are private colleges that do not come cheap and there are very few bursaries available for these institutions. During her early years in college, Ndamase drove a Mercedes Benz A-Class as her primary car which was bought by her grandmother.

Further, Ndamase is a social media influencer and YouTuber who runs a business as a content creator. In a list of influencers published in 2019, Ndamase was named as one of the highest paid influencers raking in approximately R30 0000 per post. This list was published when Ndamase had not yet reached 1 Million Instagram followers and had only recently crossed the 100 000-subscriber mark on YouTube. Ndamase, on her own, also makes a very healthy living.

It is evident that Ndamase comes from a family that can very well afford her the lifestyle she lives and she makes enough money to afford it herself and the assumption that it is afforded to her by an older, rich, married man falls flat on it’s face. It is not to say that all the women who are Instagram Baddies come from well off or rich families however the blanket assumption that all these women are blessees is blatant misogyny.

In a 2021 YouTube video with Boity Thulo, Ndamase answering a question posed to her by Thulo revealed that she had been romantically involved with a partner who gave her a R50 000 ‘girlfriend allowance’. To put this in context, anyone who has a R50 000 per month income in South Africa can be comfortably places in the middle to upper-middle class. I make this assertion fully cognizant of the precarity of the South African middle class.

Ndamase did not reveal the time period or the duration that she received this allowance. It could have been twice, three times, or twenty times. The number of times she received this allowance and even the fact that she received it are of absolutely no importance. Many in the public accused Ndamase of being a blessee long before she told us about the R50 000 girlfriend allowance.

I stand on the assertion that the assumption that Ndamase is a blessee is an act of violent misogyny, sexism and slut-shaming.

Nadia Jaftha and Jessica Van Heerden are both non-black Instagram influencers in the same right as Ndamase and other black women influencers. The stigmatizing shame of being a blessee that is all too often attached to black women influencers has never been levied on Jaftha and Van Heerden.

It is exclusively black women who are deemed incapable of affording themselves an opulent luxury lifestyle and must barter for it by offering up their bodies. Non-black women are never questioned about how they afford the things they have. The label of slayqueen attached to black women who fit the image of the Instagram Baddie is laced with misogynoir.

Because the slayqueen is the modern day ‘pretty girl’, she’s also the modern-day Jezebel.

Jezebel — the beautiful yet cunning and evil woman who will lead a man to his demise — is a fixed archetype with a changing face. In the late 2000s when DJs were the most popular music acts in South Africa and made a lot of money (consequently were the popular rich guys of the time), the women who entered into romantic or sexual relationships with them were the Jezebels of the time. House Music star Professor confirmed this in his hit single ‘Jezebel’ where he laments about women who love DJs and are only after their money.

Today, the popular rich guys have expanded to include forex traders, entrepreneurs, actors, presenters, rappers, DJs and other music artists largely because of the growth and popularity of social media. These men, very often, choose women who fit the slayqueen image as their sexual or romantic partners. The image of the slayqueen then becomes synonymous with the modern-day Jezebel.

With all this said, is a fight to end the use of the word ‘slayqueen’ worthwhile? I think not. Even if the word did not exist, we would still find a way to be misogynistic, sexist and racist, these structural -isms are the real villain here. This country’s obsession with controlling women and our commitment to misogyny, internalized misogyny, racism and internalized racism runs far too deep.